Steven Wright Quotes!



The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.

Its a small world, but I wouldnt want to paint it!

All those who believe in psychokinesis raise my hand.

Support bacteria - they're the only culture some people have.

Join the Army, meet interesting people, kill them.

Who is General Failure and why is he reading my hard disk?

You cant have everything! Where would you put it?